Self-love is not selfish. It is, in fact, an important and necessary ingredient if you want to share your love with others.
You cannot give what you do not have. So how can you love other people if you don’t have love for yourself?
Self-love doesn’t mean self-obsession. For obsession isn’t love.
If you’re obsessed with yourself, you are only motivated by your own happiness, intentions, and interests — not caring about anyone else. Self-obsession is pure selfishness and narcissism — and self-love is definitely not narcissism.
To love one’s self doesn’t mean to not love others. As a matter of fact, it’s quite the opposite. To love one’s self means filling your cup so full that it overflows and you have more than enough for everyone important in your life. To love yourself means you are embracing yourself completely for who you are and what you are capable of becoming, allowing you to become better at loving others too.
What Does It Mean to Unselfishly Love Yourself?
Self-love is about liking yourself first, no matter what and who you are, without the need for external validation from others. It’s about accepting yourself — flaws, imperfections, and all.
Self-love is about being happy with yourself, without the need for other people’s presence in your life. It doesn’t mean that other people’s presence won’t make you happy, because they DO make you happy. But their absence won’t make you feel alone or lonely at all, because you are already happy and contented with your own company.
Self-love is about self-improvement. It’s about appreciating your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses. It’s about being self-aware of your own limitations and knowing which areas in your life you don’t like and need to improve. Self-love is about doing something about your weaknesses and finding a way towards improvement.
Self-love is about knowing your personal goals and dreams — prioritizing and doing something to fulfill them. When you love yourself, you are willing to make sacrifices to build the person that you want to become.
Self-love is about raising your standards and learning to say “no”. When you love yourself fully, you know what you want. You know your own worth and what you deserve. So you won’t allow yourself to settle for less in whatever aspect of your life. You learn to say “no” to the things, people, and situations that no longer serve you. You learn to walk away from those that no longer make you happy nor help you grow.
Self-love is about forgiveness — it’s about learning to forgive yourself and others. You forgive yourself because you know there’s no point in regretting the things that already happened. You forgive yourself because you know that only with forgiveness can you move forward, make things straight, and do better. You forgive others because your personal peace-of-mind is more important than holding grudges that will only hurt yourself more than anyone else.
Self-love is about pampering but not spoiling yourself to the extent of becoming too egoistic and proud. It’s about knowing how to take care of your mental, physical, emotional, intellectual, financial, and spiritual well-being. It’s about knowing how to choose wisely and making the right choices that are best for your life.
Learn to Love Yourself More
If you haven’t been loving yourself completely, now is the perfect time to get started.
Spend time with yourself every day — set aside at least a few minutes daily to spend a moment of solitude with yourself. You may take yourself for a quiet walk, read a good book, write in a journal, or do a simple meditation. Spending time with yourself to “just be you” is a first step towards giving yourself more self-love.
Spend time and/or money to learn something new and build new skills. Take a new hobby, enroll in a baking or dance class, learn a new language… Whatever it is that spikes your interest and makes you excited to live your days.
Save money and build your investments. There’s nothing more rewarding than to become capable of supporting yourself financially.
Choose your company wisely and spend time with those who treat you right. There’s no need to stay in the company of people who only make you feel neglected and unloved. After all, when you love yourself, you know your worth and what you deserve.
Share your gift of love. When one is filled with love, one can’t help but spread that love everywhere. But first, you have to fill your own cup. After all, you cannot give what you do not have.
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