Adversity is inevitable and human beings will go through several kinds of setbacks throughout their lifetime. Setbacks can happen anytime — however, people should understand that it is normal to go through different emotional stages in life. Fortunately, there are secrets to emotional healing and it’s possible to recover from the dramatic changes you encounter in life. 

Emotional distress comes in different ways. We experience sadness, anxiety, boredom, anger, addictions, unproductivity, obsessions, compulsions, emotional pain, harmful behaviors, and various agitated moods. When emotional distress becomes too strong and unbearable, it’s important to seek immediate medical attention before it can cause further harm. However, there are types of emotional setbacks that can possibly be managed on your own, along with the help of those people who care for you. 

Know the Truths About Emotional Healing

The most important secret to emotional healing is to know the truths about it. Knowing the truths about emotional healing is essential so you can attain it. 

People should understand that it is normal to go through different emotional stages in life.

Healing is a process

It is important to understand that healing is a process and it does not happen overnight. The process may be shorter for some people, while for others, it may take longer to finally achieve complete healing. When you undergo an emotional stage in your life, be sure not to compare your journey with others. 

You need to give it time

As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. However, it may not totally erase all the scars. Time may not heal all wounds on its own, but it can help ease the emotional burden you feel. Time will also help you come to terms with your painful experiences in life, and somehow, it teaches you to grow with them. Because healing is a process, you need to give it more time as necessary. Don’t try to rush it.

You will experience grief and denial

Grief is intense emotional suffering and it usually happens when you experience a significant amount of loss. Grief is often the result of loss, rejection, desertion, or great frustration. To feel this grief is necessary for attaining emotional healing. However, many people who experience suffering prefer to deny their pain and grief.

It is common to experience a stage of denial. You will deny your loss and you will deny your sorrow. Denial happens when you don’t want to acknowledge that there is suffering. Denial is a normal human defense mechanism against painful emotional experiences that are too hard to accept. With time, it will slowly give way to acceptance.

You will feel the pain

Healing is supposed to hurt because pain is a critical part of the mending process. Acknowledging the pain is necessary in order to move on from emotional suffering. Remember that it’s okay to cry and feel vulnerable during your healing process — after all, crying is not a sign of weakness, rather, they are proof of your strength. Pain is important, so be honest about what and how you feel as this is a key step to acceptance — and acceptance is an essential part of healing.

You may feel different kinds of emotions

Aside from grief, denial, and pain, you will also experience different kinds of ugly emotions — anger, confusion, anxiety, self-pity, and so much more. This is normal. Different people have different ways of coping. For some people, experiencing all kinds of emotions is essential so they can finally let go of them. For others, however, focusing on one particular strong feeling is their only path towards acceptance. 

It’s okay to talk it out

People who experience emotional suffering find it easier to cut themselves off from those who care for them rather than face the fear of spreading negative vibes. It’s okay to have your alone time, but try not to dwell too much on your negative thoughts. Having someone around — someone to talk to — is necessary as it helps a great deal during your healing process. Bottling up your thoughts and feelings won’t make them go away — this may even increase the negative effects they have on you. 

You need to accept it first before you can fully heal

Acceptance may not always be a happy stage, but this is the most important stage to make the healing process successful. With acceptance, you will acknowledge that nothing can be done for the past, but there is something you can do for your present and your future. It is with acceptance that faith develops and growth follows.

The Wounded Self Cannot Heal Your Wounded Self

As long as you operate from your wounded self, healing may not completely happen, as the wounded self cannot heal the wounded self. Healing will only occur when you learn to grow a part of yourself that is able to access a source of truth, because the wounded self has no ability to access and acknowledge the truth. 

When your intention shifts from wanting to control to yearning to learn, the healing process begins and will continue until it’s complete.

When you learn to develop a part of yourself that opens to learning, acceptance begins to happen. When you learn to bring the truth to your inner being, you will also learn to take loving action in your own behalf based on that truth. 

The wounded self operates with an intention to control — to avoid pain and to feel safe. On the contrary, the part of yourself that can access the truth operates from an intent to learn, rather than control. When your intention shifts from wanting to control to yearning to learn, the healing process begins and will continue until it’s complete.